Just As Well
by FuckMePumps
Summary: They say the smartest way to make people laugh is to tickle them and to tell jokes, but the most noble way to make them happy is to... Oneshot, BBTerra.


**a/n **Far from my best work, but it's all I have for now. I think I've been having an off day. Anyway, for Athena's Wings' challenge, my second entry, with the prompt as #1 Pain. Inspired by Conceding the Truth, a Naruto fanfiction. Enjoy.

**disclaimer **I do not own the Teen Titans, and some quotes are courtesy of Abiel's chain text messages (hehe).

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It was beyond any person's understanding. It was, and still is, stupid and meaningless and uncalled for… but on the other hand, there are times when we have to let go of the things we wanted, even if they were right in our grasp.

They say that the smartest way to make people laugh is to tickle them and tell jokes. Everything that has happened- the tears, the regrets, that sacrifice- would all have been worth it if I earned another laugh from her. But sometimes, the happiness in a single moment doesn't always guarantee joy for a lifetime, and as I look back on it now, to the day I became brave enough to set her free, I can only muster a smile, though it will always be joined by tears.

_He leaned his weight against a tree outside, waiting at his usual post for the dismissing school bells to ring. He anxiously checked his communicator, which also told the time, though he was aware of every second that ticked by before he could see her again._

_RRIIINNNGGG!!!_

_Instantly the massive wooden doors opened, allowing flocks of students to usher them outdoors. His eyes dart over each and everyone of those that comes out, until he settles on the one he'd been searching for: a head full of gold-spun strands that could only belong to..._

"_Terra?" He yells slightly. She doesn't hear him above the crowd. Right now he sees her smiling at something an angular-faced blonde with startling dark green eyes is saying, and an instant later giggles, her entire frame shaking with uncontrolled mirth. She looked happy; the happiest he'd seen her since she was brought back from being stone._

_He forges his way through the throng until he caught up to her._

"_Terra?"_

_She's still laughing, like she used to do at one of his jokes. He feels a small stab of pain at this, a fraction of the emotion from her betrayal then. Those weren't his jokes anymore._

"_So Mr. Simmons yelled and all, but the thing is, his bloated, angry face is exactly the same as the one we spray-painted on his windshield!" The boy finished, and she slapped his arm playfully._

"_That's classic, Gerry. I should tag along the next time you vandalize someone!" _

_At this, all those who followed them, other friends presumably, broke out in cheers. Her eyes gleamed as her cheeks flushed prettily, and he almost didn't want to disturb her then._

"_Terra?"_

_Almost._

_All stares turned to him then, but he was used to all of it. His gaze was directed at her, pleading for recognition._

_It was there, but it was weary as well. "Hey there, Beast Boy."_

_The corners of his lips curved upwards, but her friends' faces frowned in scorn._

"_You know this weirdo?"_

"_It's him again! Why won't he leave you alone? Is he a stalker or something?"_

"_I'll beat him up for you if you're up for it."_

_The third comment was from the boy she was talking to earlier, and she smirked a bit at his jibe. He observed the boy: good-looking, popular, probably wealthy too. The kind of guy who can offer a girl anything she'd ever wish for. He couldn't help but be self-conscious; now, what did he have? A Tower the city paid for, green skin and an ability that didn't actually qualify for the sort you can boast your boyfriend can do, and an incredibly big commitment he's made as a crimefighter. Something she wasn't anymore._

_But then, just as he was prepared to shapeshift into an animal with a mouth wide enough to eat him up from the embarrassment, she surprised him._

"_I'll catch up, guys." She waved them away, and uncertainly the did leave. "See you later." And she immediately pulled him aside. _

"_What now?" Her tone full of impatience, hands poised on her hips. "And for the final time, my name's Tara, not Terra, alright?" She said as if speaking to a child. Maybe he was._

_His eyes bordered on sad, because this is the reward for his persistence, this harsh, unforgiving reality. "You look like Terra to me. Sorry."_

_She sighs here, softening. "Okay, okay. So, what do you want with me now?"_

_He's scratching the back of his head. "Uh, I'm not really sure about this, but last time I checked, it was supposed to be your birthday today, so…"_

_He thrust a tiny black box in her palm, folding her fingers over it._

"_Happy birthday," he whispers and, just as she opened it to reveal two ruby earrings, "I got it in red. It was your favorite color, remember?"_

_She met his wide, earnest eyes. "It's blue, but they're beautiful. Thank you." He notices the gleam of a pendant on a chain she wore around her neck, a sapphire and diamond flower plated in what seemed like solid gold. The gift of another boy, he concludes. His heart contracted at the thought that there were so many other boys in the world she would meet, would have fun with, and maybe would fall in love with. Boys that weren't him, will never be him; who will never care for her as much as he does, who'll probably trample on her heart and toy with her feelings the way she once did with him._

_But it's inevitable that she'll have her heart broken and break other hearts herself, and she'll recover and love again, just like any other human being. She'd sort through the different kinds of guys there are, and though he knows they'll never compare to what he was willing to give up for her, he also knows she'd find someone worth her while. Someone that wasn't bound to the life of a superhero and will probably cost her more worry and trouble than she deserves, someone with a better package deal, someone that didn't have to be him._

_And he'll be okay with that, he knows too, as long as she's happy._

_A minute passed with nothing but silence between them, and he begins to leave._

"_Well, I better get going now… bye." He mumbled, but just as he was walking away, she called out,_

"_Wait!" And he did. _

"_Maybe…" She places a kind hand on his shoulder. "Maybe we can hang out sometime. For pizza, I mean. 'Kay?"_

I'd been tempted to say yes, to bring back the past I've longed for, those priceless old times, but I knew that if I did I'd never be able to let her go otherwise. And that, that came before anything else.

"_I…I might be busy, nowadays. Villains are just popping up everywhere, you know?" He squints at her and grins, if only to prevent the tears that threatened to fall from doing so._

"_Oh. Okay." She's visibly disappointed, but not as much as he was. _

"_But I'll keep visiting. If I can." Which was the best he can do._

_She gives him a small smile; it was a relief from the involuntary needles that pounded in and out of his heart, almost a comfort but never an ease._

"_Oh, and I almost forgot…" Her hand drops from his shoulder to his own, squeezing it for an invisible reassurance. She tucks her hair behind her ear, the right one this time, almost shyly. _

"_I don't know how you did, but… thanks, for remembering my birthday. None of my other friends did."_

"_No problem." As he breathed in short wisps, because the pain went from his heart to his lungs and encompassed even the physical._

There are times when we have to let go of the things we wanted, even if they were right in our grasp.

They say that the smartest way to make people laugh is to tickle them and tell jokes, but the most noble way to make them happy is to be prepared to be sad, just for them to be happy.

I kept in touch, like I promised, and loved her in secret all this time… or maybe it wasn't so secret, maybe it's never been, as I see a flash of something in her eyes as she catches mine- like the girl who moved mountains and a young boy's heart- right before she hands out one of the kisses that will never be mine to a man who I pray will be faithful and appreciate her for all she is, as well as her heart. I could only stand at this safe, friendly distance a couple of meters from the altar and it is only with the strength gathered from the years and the happiness that swells my heart and sets aside the pain for a while… that I can bear witness to her sealing her future with a man that could have been me, but wasn't… isn't.

_fin_

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**a/n **My second BBTerra, and it's a tragic one again. I actually support this couple very much; I feel that even if it's canon, it doesn't get the love it deserves. Anyway, please do

_**REVIEW!**_


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